Hooman is Away; Kitteh will Play

Zulejka here, usurping hooman’s blog.
For hoomans who do not know me, I am the embodiment of all things dainty. Behold my delicately curled paw placed gracefully upon the other:

I can be a zigzag.

Or be put in a bad mood…

…because hooman takes pics at unflattering angles.

I contemplate deep things, with the weight of the world upon my fur.

I see things of which you hoomans can hardly conceive.

Things such as empty food bowls, a problem my anxious hooman has neglected to remedy.

I await with feline-perfect patience…

…for my hooman to notice. Who can resist my fragile pose?

I have a dozen ways to ensure that hooman gives me pats, including the blockade:

I am a blockade of fur.

Pat me.

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Dammit, Zulejka usurped my blog again?

Something must be in the air, because Facebook was on a roll, too. I was just innocently scrolling the other day when it threw this ad at me:

Me: Facebook apparently hasn’t realized my age yet.

Facebook: No, we know EXACTLY how old you are ->

Facebook: And, also, we decided you need this –>

Me: That tactical pistol course in Serbia is obviously going to come in handy during the pole dancing.

Facebook: You think you’re funny, wisecrack? ->

It mocks me, y’all!

IT IS INSIDE OUR HEADS.

However, I then did come across this gem, which SPOKE TO ME:

Total reminder to be kind to each other, not cruel, to support one another (when we can), since the current world has done so much to divide us, isolate us, enrage us. I do believe we can work united to change things for the better, though, one day…

And in other news! Since people seemed to stop reading 9 pages into my Wicked Orc book (maybe I overdid that one, um, part?), I redid the beginning. I just chopped the whole info-dump chapter, hahahaha! Buh-bye, gross bit! NO MERCY! To celebrate, here’s a 30-second video about this dirty little book just for funsies (there is audio! You must have the audio!):

https://youtube.com/watch?v=-L8K56iNAS4

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Also, hoomans, behold my bootiful paws. Two weeks ago I jumped up on the hot stove and had to get three days’ worth of pain meds for my burned pawsies (and hooman put iodine on them daily [which is safe for kittehs and which I naturally licked off]), but my pawses are all fine now.

Dammit, my super-cat is unstoppable!

I think it’s past time for her chicken.

[Yes, hooman. Neglectful hooman. Food bowls are empty again, too.]

Be kind this week, y’all! Thrice the shadow. [No, I still do not know what this means]

All the love to you all 🙂

Aaaaand if you want to give me some love (or feed me 😀 since I’m always low on food), you can send $1 via buy me a coffee (or send more), or to support me monthly, you can join the patreon (which I’ve been seriously neglecting, alas), or get daily snippets I like to share on Facebook (*cough, cough* ALSO severely neglected), check out my books I don’t want anyone to buy, or join the newsletter I haven’t been sending (but intend to). THANK YOU for any and all love!