Loving Monsters (Orcs, not humans, please)

Moral questions aside about whether it’s ethical to love a monster (any monster, human or otherwise), I wrote a romance.

Alright, I always write love stories, but this? There’s a little bit of a non-human monster in it this time.

An orc! Inspired by one of my wondrous friends back in December, when…

Well, I guess I kind of gave up on trying to improve this world for a while and got sucked into another world instead. And this story just–it freaking stole my life for the past few months, hauling me in for intense bouts of writing, causing intense weeks of anxiety and panicked nights of jogging while reaching desperately for the next scene, and ruptures of creativity, and shouting matches at work because I wasn’t doing the dayjob (and am still not right now because I’m writing this), and my future self will NOT thank me when the time comes to either eat or pay bills, but it’s like… this story.

BUT! More about that below, because in between the bouts of intensity, I did help get together a bunch of other orc-romance authors, and we created a promo of discounted orc romances [“The Week After Valentine’s Blues a.k.a. Orcs save us from romance-less lives – Orc book boyfriends. Bigger. Greener. Stronger. Growlier. Tuskier. Better. orcs.sale/now”]! So if you’re curious about how orcs do lovin’, you’re welcome –>

AND a few of the authors were wondrously kind enough to answer some of my crazy questions, so here those are! :

Kate Prior, author of The Orc from the Office:

What kind of partner does it take to satisfy your orcs?

I really like the idea of couples being complementary, like they’re fulfilling a deep emotional need the other has just by existing. So I guess women who embrace their personal strengths and quirks?

Sonya (that is, yours truly who is writing this post) responds to this with: People, yes, please embrace your quirks! All the quirks!

What orc feature do you like most?

Tusks. 100%

Sonya: I 100% agree with this.

What do you like most about writing an orc as a romantic lead?

I just love the idea of a romantic lead fully capable of crushing you with their size/monstrosity who is doing their damnedest to be gentle and sweet

Sonya: ALL THE FEELS! Love me a dude who is so trying not to hurt anyone or anything!

Also here are socials if you’d like to follow Kate on social media –> @bykateprior on Instagram and TikTok, and her website is kate-prior.com

Lark Green, author of The Orc Boss [Ansel Walsh, The Orc Mafia Boss, Q&A] :

What kind of partner does it take to satisfy your orcs?

It’s not a question of whether Ansel’s partner can satisfy him, but if he can satisfy YOU (and the answer is he most definitely can). Ansel is a self-proclaimed “recovering Casanova” for a reason; he has decided to stay away from women for the last year to focus on his mission avenging his parents’ death. So when he runs into a nerdy, IT helpdesk faerie who claims no man has ever been able to make her come without the assistance of a vibrator, Ansel takes that challenge to heart. And he never backs down from a challenge. Because he hasn’t been with a woman in so long, it won’t take much to satisfy his needs, but because Ansel is so focused on his mission—the question is, whether he’ll let the faerie close enough to touch him.

Sonya: My guess is Ansel has met his match 😉

What orc feature do you like most?

I’m a simple, but perverted lady. I love orcs because of their huge, green peens and the size difference situations it can bring.

Sonya: Hehehe, you will get no judgment from me 😉

What do you like most about writing an orc as a romantic lead?

I’ve always been drawn to orcs, and I’m not really sure why. I think what I love most about orcs is the fact I can lean on their “common” traits—brutish, hulking, tusks—while also adding my own spin (orcs are from Scotland and are in charge of the mafia for my story).

Sonya: Scottish orcs! Wondrous!

[Lark:] My favorite Ansel quotes (I’m biased since I wrote them, but whatever):

“For the past two nights, I have had to listen to you touch yourself. Do you know how hard that is, sweetling? Listening to your soft little moans and just having to lay there, not doing anything about it? To just lay there and take it? I would rather be tortured for a hundred hours than sit through one more night of that.”

“Just like that, that’s my girl,” he growled, digging his fingers deeper and grabbing the back of my hair with his fist. “You like being filled with my cock, don’t you? You dirty little slut. You pretend to be such a proper little faerie, but I know deep down you’re just a little slut needing her mouth filled, aren’t you?”

Also, here is a pic of Ansel:

Sonya here again! If you want to follow Lark, here are a few of her social media coordinates 🙂 :

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorlarkgreen/

Website: authorlarkgreen.com

Newsletter: https://www.authorlarkgreen.com/newsletter

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And if you made it this far without being distracted (or if you came back because you simply can’t tear yourself away 😉 ), now on to my book!

It’s kinda, like, a messed-up one – eep. A love story between a tusked orc (whose tusks were actually ground down as punishment) and a caged princess, and maybe it’s as much of a fun, emotional trainwreck as it sounds?

And this character. Not the princess (though she is tough as iron even while she’s so, so vulnerable, too), but the orc character. He’s pretty… um, yeah.

Although, despite the intensity, while I was skimming through the file before uploading on amazon, I kept giggling at bits I slowed at. Like (the parts in parentheses are for context):

“No!” She clenched her fists at her sides (angry because he wants her to pay for food she ate).
“No?”
“I refuse.”
“Then you’ll vomit it all up?”

…

“You scalawag!”
“That’s me!” Kritch (a goblin child) arrowed past in a green blur that froze in place only to steal a treat off a platter with his spindly-fingered snatch. Then the goblin thief bounded out of sight around the corner. “I’m the scalawag and this is the proof!”

…

It renewed her resolve from this morning: give and take, be slick and sly, and maybe he’d open her cage and let her fly.

…

And it has a happy ending (SUCH a happy ending, y’all!) despite how it seems impossible.

Maybe, in this world, we can make a happy ending, too?

In any case, it’s out now and I am terrified of even LOOKING inside it again.

And now! I must now return to the dayjob, because I really don’t want another shouting match, y’all… or I might start screaming forever. So I hope this finds you holding up in this world. And if you want to start making a better one NOW, you can start by beginning to build your own community – that is: share what you can for free, share rides if you don’t have public transport, get together for meals, just be happy and united as humans being human together. We can do this, and one day, maybe everyone will live and let live.

Be the love!

Be kind.

Be you 🙂

Love, Sonya

Oh, dammit, the cover…