This past Thursday evening I took a random six-hour round-trip bus (three hours there, three back) to dance swing for three hours in Brno, Czech Republic.
I discovered that, nope, I can’t dance it for sh*t, but I still try! Oh, how embarrassingly I try. Stepping on their feet, elbowing them in the face… and watching those who know how to swing dance was simply amazing. Anyway, it was a fun party, replete with my ex-husband, one bunny-eared, bunny-nosed hostess traipsing about while offering skittles in lieu of eggs (in honor of Easter), and a funny American dude who was overheated and espied a fan, upon which he bounded toward it and paused only to hold out a hand palm-up to us while calling out, “Don’t worry, I’m an engineer!”
The fans worked, so he must surely be an engineer, and after that I danced (or more accurately, waited to be asked to dance) for hours, rushed back to the bus station around 1am, read on my iPad the entire return journey, and then arrived back in Prague at 4 am.
Four in the morning in Prague means the metro [subway] hasn’t started running yet and, typical for me, I managed to miss the tram by a minute, with the next one not due for another half hour.
Therefore, in my sleepless delirium, I decided to take an impromptu stroll through Old Town Square.
These are the pics of what I encountered along the way, along with blips of random thoughts and tales of random people who decided to talk to me, because that’s apparently what strangers do at 4am.
So. I’m walking and reading when I look up at this beautiful nighttime scene:
Of course I must photograph it because I have my iPad out and the building is so preeeeetty!
Satisfied, I continue on only to be enamored by the windows of the restaurant attached to the opera house:
Aah, the sumptuous secrets that must skulk within! I think. Surely the phantom of the opera is spying from his lurk-spot inside the dumbwaiter. What fun it would be to be snatched into his boat for a trip through the canals under the opera house!
Let there be no limits to the delusions of the 4am mind. I might even have inserted a rescue by the ex-husband in there, him swinging on a rope and wielding a brace of candelabra to impressive and manly effect.
Then we go swing-dancing off into the sunset (sunrise?).
[Hey, don’t judge me for using the ex; he was a great guy and I ain’t had a proper man actively court me since! Any man out there willing to try, go for it :-D]
After that, I stroll–or tiptoe?–beneath the ARCH OF SHADOWS (haha, I don’t know what it’s called and I’m too lazy to look it up, so it is now so dubbed):
I’m imagining myself in a long, flowing gown while swishing beneath it, a suitor at my side, his frantic hand upon my elbow.
“Milady, we must hurry, for our foes come trotting right upon our heels! Let us take refuge in the shoe store yonder! I shall buy thee a pair of TOMS so thou mayst dance the night away in comfort! Aaaaah, my lady, our foes have seized me! Run, do not try to rescue me!”
WHOP BAM BOOM!
*singing* It’s the Phantom of the Operaaaaaaaaaa
And thus is my suitor saved (or kidnapped?) by the phantom as I flee onward.
And thus the delirium continues.
Next, I tramp through a passage covered in graffiti:
I imagine gang members leaping forth, blades aflash, screams galore. I run, I race, and–
A possible exit! Salvation! Only it’s barred. What do I do now? Why are the eyes uneven on that drawing? What does it mean?
I rush on, out of the passage, and–
“Heyyy, what are you doing out at this time of night?” a tall dude asks while veering past me. “You coming from a club or did you just get up?”
At which I smile mysteriously at him and whisper, “Neither.” Then off I flit down this eerily deserted street normally packed with tourists:
No one’s anywhere. It’s creepy; it’s strange!
I consider taking a picture of the figures in the display case of the wax museum but I have horrific images of the Indiana Jones figure there coming to life like some horror flick and trapping me within a layer of wax. Future visitors will pause before me, cock their bewildered heads, and ask, “Who the freak is she?”
Crack my wax! I will cry within.
Onward I go, not venturing too close to the wax figures in the display case. That Indiana Jones figurine looks too alive for my taste.
I come to Old Town Square, where the eerie lack of humans continues, along with the lack of lighting to prettify the towers:
Just one light within the turret. What manner of man–or beast–could lurk within? A Jekyll and Hyde of Prague, on the verge of a monstrous transformation, ready to burst from the window…
But look! His wife has come to fetch him, urging him in soft, mellifluous tones to imbibe his nightly tonic laced with Ambien.
“Sleep tight, my darling.” She kisses his nose.
Sigh. Her shoulders heave. No sex tonight. Again.
She stares out the window and I commiserate with her.
Then off I go to Wenceslas Square, where people make an appearance, buying hamburgers and pizzas at food stands. At its apex reigns the National Museum [note the brazen gang of four marching down the middle of the street]:
By now, the trams are running and my sleepless delusions have depleted themselves. I wait for my tram, and once on it, I resort to reading again. At which point a guy with a group of people asks what I’m reading. They want to know where I’m from. Why I like Prague. They look at me like I’m a freak when I say I like Czechs.
I shrug and get off at my stop.
So close now! It’s daylight (dawn?), and there, finally, is the street my bedroom window looks out on!
There’s the building across from mine!
And then I am home, where this beautiful creature awaits with welcome:
Ah, home sweet home.
Thanks for reading my delirious rambling! I hope you enjoyed the pictures of Prague.
Book news!
I’m still putting up sneak peeks of my works in progress (I added one today about a girl stabbing corpses who is in love with a secretive boy called K). They’re on my Patreon page for anyone who wants to check it out and help feed me 😀
The anthology my dark faerie tale is apparently still on sale for $0.99! The price was supposed to go up April 23rd, but surprise! You can still get ten dark faerie tales (over 500 pages) for less than a dollar.
The first chapters of current books in progress:
Owner of two cats and huge dreams and author of any kind of love story so long as wild stuff is going on...
Sonya Lano 
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